Faith

The Battle Within - Overcoming Suicidal Tendencies.

The Battle Within - Overcoming Suicidal Tendencies.

 I battled suicidal thoughts since my pre-teens. I used to cry myself to sleep wondering why I was born. Pain without understanding will make one’s mind run wild.

Oddly enough, almost every time I tried to take my life, I would panic. I remember overdosing on a prescription sleeping aid, but before I passed out I called 911 and said, “I was trying to kill myself, but I changed my mind. I don’t want to die anymore. Please, save me.”

This wasn’t the first time I’ve said those 3 words. I recently found a journal entry of mine from 2006 that said, “Jesus, Buddha, or God, whichever one of you is real, please save me.”

If you’re reading this today, your pain has a purpose. You are not a mistake. God has created you on purpose for a great purpose....

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FAQ's An Ex Porn Star Gets Asked: + My Answers. (Pt. 1)

FAQ's An Ex Porn Star Gets Asked: + My Answers. (Pt. 1)

Q: We All Have A Past, But Yours Is All Over The Internet. How Do You Deal With That?

A: I choose not to let it bother me. We all make mistakes in life and mine just happen to be on the internet. My husband reminds me that I am not a product of my past, I am a product of grace. And he is right. Jesus died on the cross for my sins so why should I be ashamed of what He died for? In fact, none of us should be ashamed of where we have been or of what we have done in life. Jesus died so that we could live in victory. Living a life of shame is not victorious, and because of the cross, we deserve better than that.

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Pruned To Prosper...

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Have you ever asked God for something and it seemed like instead of giving you what you asked for he began to remove things from your life instead?

For instance you pray for greater financial provision and then you lose your job…

Or you pray for a relationship and then suddenly nobody wants to date you…

In the heat of the moment you become frantic and fearful and you think that God does not hear your prayers. I want to correct that thought right now, because God does hear your prayers. However, we get confused because we think that just because we asked God for something that he has to answer it the way that we have determined that he should answer it. But Isaiah 55:9 teaches us that God's ways are not our ways. So be encouraged because God has plans to give you the desires of your heart, but the process of getting you the blessing you asked for may not look like the process you were expecting. You may have been expecting a raise at your current job, but God allowed you to get fired so that you would start the business you always wanted to start. You may have prayed for a relationship, but God is keeping you single to prepare and mature you for the right man or woman. God will always prune you with the intent of prospering you. Don't allow a season of pruning to discourage you. God has plans to prosper you, but first He will prune you.