Overcoming an Addiction to Porn & Practicing Purity.

I was recently interviewed and God shared some fresh insight with me, so I wanted to pass it on to you! 

Interviewer: How did you get into the porn industry and was your experience of getting pulled in similar to other workers in that business? 

Brittni: I was an exotic dancer in college. A couple producers came in and affirmed me. They said, “You are beautiful and you are destined to be a star. We make romance movies. Give us a call if you’re ever in Los Angeles.” I happened to be in LA the next so I gave them a call and drove over to their production set. They won me over with affirmation because this was something I didn’t get much of growing up. What you aren’t given at home, you’re bound to search for in the outside world. 

I know many women who first started dancing before they entered the world of porn. Many of them, like myself, came from difficult upbringings. Some came from overly religious households, where going to hell was a constant threat, so rebellion became their choice; because if you’re not perfect enough for Heaven then you might as well do what you want, right? Obviously, this is so far from the truth, but this is a lie many porn stars have believed. Others that I have spoken to have shared stories of rape and molestation. One woman I know was nearly homeless and could not find a job so porn provided her with the ability to get back on her feet. 

INT: Looking back, what truth about Jesus’ gospel do you wish you’d had before you entered the sex industry?  

B: I wish I had known that regardless of the way I was treated as a child, there was still someone out there who loved me unconditionally, someone who would never leave me nor forsake me, and He could be so easily found through prayer, worship, and through reading the Bible. If I had known how easy it is to tap into the presence of God, my life would have felt so much easier and I could have avoided many wrong turns in life. I always say, “God, I went through so much without ever acknowledging you, now that I have you, I know I can go through anything and I will be ok.” God’s presence gets us through the worst of times with an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort. I don’t know how I ever survived without His presence.

INT: Pornography is made to look exciting, free, and fun. Is the porn industry as glamorous as it is made out to be? 

B: It’s definitely not glamorous. I have seen some pretty disgusting things on set, things that could probably make you vomit – I will spare you the details. However, I will say, my first month in the industry alone I caught gonorrhea. I was mortified. I had never caught an STD, but my agent “comforted” me by saying, “It’s ok, everyone gets it. It’s just a shot in the butt and it will go away.” Performers get tested every 28 days, but what if they catch an STD on day 2 of their test? That means for the next 26 days they are passing around an STD. There’s nothing glamourous about that, and I am not even sharing the atrocious details with you, it can get a lot worse than just sharing an STD.

INT: How did Jesus reach in and save you as a sex-worker and porn star? 

B: I was in the industry for seven years, but I took a break at year three. During my break, I went to Church with my grandpa and his wife, and received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. When I went to the altar, I was given a Bible. However, I got connected to the wrong group of people and did not go back to Church for a while. This is why our friendships matter in life. If you’re friends are pulling you away from God, then you need a new group of friends. But I didn’t know this, so what was supposed to be my retirement from porn became a short break. 

I got involved with a pimp and got right back into the industry. However, this time something was different. I had a Bible and I had the Holy Spirit in my heart. Not only did the Holy Spirit help me escape my pimp, He also got me out of porn. 

After I left my pimp, I booked a job for a popular internet porn company in Las Vegas. Before I left for the airport, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Bring your Bible.” Once the airplane took off, I opened my Bible to the book of Revelation, because it was the one book in the New Testament I hadn’t read yet. When I got to chapter two, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read these few verses:

Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. 21 I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. 22 So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.”

                                                         – Revelation 2:20-23 NIV

That very moment I repented and although I still filmed the scene that day, I told everyone on set about Jesus. I also told them they would never see me again, because I was quitting after I finished my last job that day.

The scripture I read on the plane that day changed my life. It is a harsh scripture; however, the Holy Spirit spoke to me through it. He said, “Brittni, I have a far greater life in store for you. If you would just give up everything and follow me, you won’t regret it.” I took a step of faith that day. I quit the porn industry and I gave up everything to follow Jesus, and He was right, I don’t regret it one bit!

INT: As a disciple of Jesus, what is one of the biggest identity lies that He has needed to help you heal from? 

B: He needed to deliver me from many things, but one was that sex was not created to be a tool to get what I want. It was not designed to be an escape from pain, nor is it empowering. I used my body for many years to make me feel good about myself and to manipulate men into giving me what I wanted. God taught me that a woman who respects herself doesn’t expose herself. For years, I thought I loved myself, but if I truly loved myself I wouldn’t have mistreated myself. I am so grateful God gave me a second chance to do things right. I am now married to an incredible man of God and we practiced sexual purity before marriage. God gave me a second chance to honor Him with my body. Purity is so special and I took that for granted when I was younger.

INT: We live in a pornographic age, from camming to on set porn production to sex-dating apps to phone-sex hotlines. How do you believe the gospel speaks into our sexualized lifestyles and culture? 

B: Clearly the Bible promotes purity and sex between a husband and wife. One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 5:8. It says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Purity can’t exist externally if does not first exist internally. You can be a virgin, yet have uncontrollable thoughts of lust. Being a virgin doesn’t make you pure, it’s the condition of your heart that makes you pure. Satan will do whatever he can to rob one of their purity. Why? Because without your purity, you can’t see God. Remember John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” What better way for Satan to steal the abundant life God has for you, kill your soul, and destroy your life than to cause you to live an impure life. Because, again, impurity blinds you from seeing the God of love who has an abundant life in store for you.

INT: What counsel do you have for people who are addicted to pornography?  

B: First and foremost, do not be ashamed of your addiction. This is a huge attack Satan places on the body of Christ because if you’re ashamed of your sin then you won’t ask for help. Therefore, you battle it alone and isolation is a dangerous place to be, because isolation gives Satan an open door to attack your mind. Think of Jesus alone in the wilderness. Who attacked Him while He was alone? None other than Satan. Jesus died to make you free from shame. Be unashamed and humble enough to ask for help because if you want stability in life then you’re going to need accountability.

Secondly, If Jesus fought Satan off with the word of God then we need to do the same. It’s great if you go to Church on Sunday, but Satan is at work daily, so it’s not enough to free you from a porn addiction – or any addiction for that matter. You need to seek God daily. Daily encounters in His presence will set you free. Since I became a Christian, I seek God every morning through worship music, prayer, and then I read the Bible. I have not back-slid nor fallen back into addiction because God’s presence (and grace) gives me the strength to stay set-free. Please, I beg you, get into God’s presence every single day! You need Him. The more time we spend in the presence of a holy God, the less we will desire the things of the world.

Quick story: When my husband and I got married, he didn’t like my cooking. Yikes! Ha-ha! He didn’t like it because it was healthy and he wasn’t used to healthy food. Before we got married he ate fast food three times a day, no joke! I refused to let him eat like that once we were married. It took several months, but eventually, his appetite changed. He quit craving fast food and began to crave my healthy salads! Friends, the same is true for us! When we spend time with God daily our appetite changes. We quit craving the junk this world has to offer and we begin to crave the good things God has for us. This is why I strongly encourage you to seek Him daily.

Last thing, my friends at the XXX Church have incredible resources on their website. They even have software you can purchase to block all X-rated websites and if you try going on one, it will alert your accountability partner. Visit their website xxxchurch.com

I also post blogs on my website Brittnidelamora.com you will find some encouragement there to help you on your journey. God bless you friends!

I hope and pray this blog blesses your life today!

Love Always,                                                                                                                                           Brittni De La Mora