In 2010, I walked into Planned Parenthood, distraught and not ready to abort my child. However, against my will I was forced to. At first the Physician refused to perform the abortion because I was hysterical. However, the man I was with told me to wipe my tears, get back in there and do it. I did exactly what he told me to do.
After the abortion, I battled with a lot of hatred towards myself and towards the man I listened to. I had been sober for about 9 months until this. I was so depressed that I began self-medicating again. I didn’t know who I could talk to, which meant I had to go through this alone.
I have met many women whom have similar stories to mine and the question I get asked the most is, “How did you forgive yourself?” We live in a society that condemns abortions, which makes it difficult for women to safely process to the point of forgiveness. Although I do not condone abortions, I understand that we all make mistakes in life. Sometimes, we make the best decision we know how in the moment, but then later regret it.
After I developed a relationship with God, through accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior, He began a work of healing within me. This was one of the hardest things for me to let go of. However, in my time of prayer, I received a revelation that I hope will help any woman battling the same guilt I once battled. I was reminded that if Jesus died on the cross for all my sins so that I could receive forgiveness from Him, then why should I not forgive myself? Am I greater than God? Absolutely not. If He has ultimate authority in my life, and in His authority, He calls me forgiven and a new creation, then why should I hold un-forgiveness where He holds forgiveness? If I did so, then I would be placing myself above God and His supremacy. I couldn’t do that, but many of us do. God calls you forgiven, but you haven’t forgiven yourself. Be careful of getting caught in a moment of time. Life goes on, but sometimes we don’t. Our minds can be so stuck in the past and on the mistakes that we’ve made that life ends up passing us by. Don’t let that be you. Your future is brighter than your past, but it is time to move on. You may have made the same mistake that I made, but you are not alone and you’re not your mistakes. Like me, You may have given up your child, but it doesn’t mean that you should give up the rest of your life. God is the God of second chances, give Him a chance to give you another chance.
If you’re battling with pain and shame from an abortion, please allow God to move again in your life by praying this simple prayer:
“Father I ask that you would forgive me of my sins and that you would give me the strength to forgive myself. This burden is to great for me to bare, so I cast it unto you because you care for me. Jesus, I believe you are my Lord and Savior. Holy spirit, help me to hold my thoughts captive and to focus only on things that are praise worthy. Transform my life and let my pain become purposeful for your names sake. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.”
If you have any questions, please message me and someone from my team will get back to you. We are praying for you and we believe that the best is yet to come in your life.
You Are Loved and Forgiven! Xo Brittni De La Mora
"Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!" - Micah 7:19 NLT
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17
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