I have learned that like any addiction pornography and masturbation are an escape. They are an escape from boredom and an escape from pain. Addiction can bring forth an external euphoria that makes one forget about their internal trauma. A broken heart is most susceptible to an addiction.
If you had a sever toothache but for some reason were unable to make it to the dentist, then I would imagine that you would take some Aspirin and put some Novocain on it until you could make it to the dentist. Right? You wouldn’t allow yourself to remain in pain, would you? The same is true for our heart’s. When our heart is in pain, but we can’t find the healer, then we will naturally look for a quick fix to numb the pain. Aspirin will not cure a toothache, only the dentist can do that. Pornography will not cure a heartache, only Jesus can do that.
Do Not feel ashamed. Jesus died to give us freedom over our mistakes so don’t allow your mistakes to hold you as a prisoner to your past. Walk into your future, and if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. Just get back up again. Read More
I battled suicidal thoughts since my pre-teens. I used to cry myself to sleep wondering why I was born. Pain without understanding will make one’s mind run wild.
Oddly enough, almost every time I tried to take my life, I would panic. I remember overdosing on a prescription sleeping aid, but before I passed out I called 911 and said, “I was trying to kill myself, but I changed my mind. I don’t want to die anymore. Please, save me.”
This wasn’t the first time I’ve said those 3 words. I recently found a journal entry of mine from 2006 that said, “Jesus, Buddha, or God, whichever one of you is real, please save me.”
If you’re reading this today, your pain has a purpose. You are not a mistake. God has created you on purpose for a great purpose.... Read More
In 2010, I walked into Planned Parenthood, distraught and not ready to abort my child.
I have met many women whom have similar stories to mine and the question I get asked the most is, “How did you forgive yourself?”
This was one of the hardest things for me to let go of. However, in my time of prayer, I received a revelation that I hope will help any woman battling the same guilt I once battled. Read More
In Summer School, He told me the cocaine would help me reach my weight loss goals, so I bought some. Not only was I not hungry, but I was happy. This is what drugs do. They lie to you and make you “feel” happy, temporarily, until the withdraw hits and then you’re more miserable than ever.
A couple years later, a girlfriend of mine asked me if I had ever “Chased the Dragon”. She then pulled out some foil and stuck black tar on it – aka Heroin. She encouraged me to take a hit.
Some say, “once an addict always an addict.” But Jesus disagrees. Because, “Who the son sets free is free indeed.” – John 8:36 Which means you don't have to be a slave to addiction any longer.
I don't believe in competition within the Church, football yes, but in the Church no. And because I am not in sports I am not trying to compete with anybody, I'm just trying to serve the same Lord that every other Christian is supposed to be serving.
But understand that He is not the Lord of competition, He is not the Lord of jealousy, He is not the Lord of gossip, and He is not the Lord of lies. Read More