When Dating, How Far Is Too Far?

When Dating, How Far Is Too Far?

Can we kiss? Can we have sleep overs? Is oral sex allowed? What exactly can we do?

These are just a few of the questions my husband and I often get asked from the Young Adults we lead. These questions are all too familiar because when I first left the Adult Film Industry and wanted to pursue sexual purity, I had the same questions. How far is too far?

A rule of thumb, if you question whether it’s okay, then it probably isn’t. Remember, the less you do when dating, the more you have to look forward to when married. I know what it’s like to sleep with & live with someone before marriage; and I can tell you that God’s way is the best way. When you do it God’s way you learn to fall in love with your partner’s mind, heart and soul. Sex cannot sustain a relationship, but true love can.

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Overcoming The Pain Of Childhood Abuse.

Overcoming The Pain Of Childhood Abuse.

    It’s unfortunate that childhood abuse is as common as it is and if you have experienced it, whether physical, verbal, or sexual, I want to say that I am sorry for what happened to you. 

    I have experienced much abuse in my lifetime, mostly verbal. Abuse in any form is detrimental to one’s well-being. Abuse will make one feel inferior, insecure, unworthy and unlovable. This is a classic attack of Satan, to make a child of God feel like they don’t belong. Satan wants you to question who you are so that you can’t act out who you truly are.

    My abuse caused me to make inappropriate decisions. I ended up on drugs, in the porn industry and I became verbally abusive to people in my life. The same is true for those whom have abused you. The abuse that they endured caused them to abuse those around them. Today, let’s choose to give them grace. Let’s look at them with eyes of mercy. 

Genesis 50:20 says, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for my good. He brought me to this position so that I could save the lives of many people.” 

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Too Fat, Too Skinny, Never Good Enough….

Too Fat, Too Skinny, Never Good Enough….

    The title to this blog was the theme song of my life. I had set such unrealistic standards on myself based upon what I thought would be pleasing to eyes of another. 

    At 21 years old, I used to get Botox and temporary lip injections. AT TWENTY-ONE! I look back at my insanity and laugh. I didn’t even have wrinkles back then. 

    I believe a form of freedom comes from self-love and confidence. Confidence is when you can admire another man or woman’s physique and not feel any less valuable for not looking as thin, muscular or as curvy as they do.

    I want to encourage you today to practice self-love!  This means that regardless of your imperfections, you can still love yourself. You are worth more than your bra size, more than your “gains”, and more than your pant size.

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I Used To Be So Insecure - Overcoming Insecurities.

I Used To Be So Insecure - Overcoming Insecurities.

I remember as a young child being so bold and confident. I used to think I could take on the world. I felt like Super Girl, I was invincible. Unfortunately, life happens. Harsh words were spoken over my life that put to rest the Super Girl in me. 

People often ask me, “Why are you removing your tattoos?” The truth is, I am removing them because I do not like them. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I ever did. Every tattoo on my body is mark of me trying to be somebody other than myself. 

Insecurities come from the need to be approved by others and then missing the mark. If you live for the approval of others you will never find confidence. 

God never designed us to be insecure. He never created us to be somebody else. I can imagine how heartbroken He becomes when we compare ourselves to others. Your confidence was never meant to be found in the approval of others. You are approved by God and that is all the approval you need.

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Anorexia – An Outward Cry for Inward Help.

Anorexia – An Outward Cry for Inward Help.

When I was 16 years old I decided to go on a diet with a friend. 110 LBS was our goal weight. When we reached that, she stopped. I on the other hand couldn’t. I became obsessed with losing weight and developed anorexia nervosa.

Some people think it’s about being skinny, but it’s not. I heard a profound quote the other day that sums up anorexia in a nutshell.

“When the exercise and rituals kick in and the cyclical thoughts about weight take over, everything else goes away. And starving yourself can make you feel euphoric like a drug addict or an alcoholic. It is not about being thin enough. There is no thin enough. It doesn’t exist. What you crave is the numbing of things that you don’t want to feel.” – To the Bone | A Netflix Original.

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How I Discovered My Purpose In Life

How I Discovered My Purpose In Life

Does My Life Have A Purpose?

Some might think this is a silly question, but for nearly 26 years of my life I often wondered this.

Why was I born? What am I supposed to do with my life? Where do we go when we die?

 I even asked a family member and the response I was given was, “Life sucks and then you die.” This answer was never good enough for me. 

I have realized that some inventions just can’t be understood unless you first hear from the inventor, or unless you read the owner’s manual. How can you understand the creation if you do not speak to the creator? 

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Why We Chose The “No Sex Before Marriage” Route.

Why We Chose The “No Sex Before Marriage” Route.

    This was a conviction of mine and my husband’s before we started dating. When I first began going to Cornerstone Church of San Diego I had just left the Adult Film Industry, where I had filmed roughly 375 scenes.

    As I continued to grow in God, my celibacy became less about me and more about inspiring others. I thought, “If an ex-porn star could wait to have sex until marriage, then anyone can do it.” 

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